Friday, August 14, 2009

catching up

since i've been concentrating on yahoo this week,
blogger has not been front and center,
though i've been on the web.
curious.
here are some highlights:

  • went to chocolates etc., with peggy on thursday
  • got news on wednesday i'm going to hamilton on monday
  • returned jesus today to kathy on friday
  • carlo pizzacala moved out and another carlo, who talks in his sleep in italian, moved in, and kept me up most of thursday/friday night

Sunday, August 09, 2009

b'n'b

stayed overnight in stevensville,
while chloe went to reenactment at old ft. erie
though it rained much of the time

Friday, August 07, 2009

the game plan

watched this movie starring the rock with pam courtesy of the rec dept. made me think of myself as a father, especially to my neediest (wes) and my youngest (chloe).

_jesus today_

i just finished reading this book. and i'd ike to read it again.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

one love

playing for change

_jesus today_

i'm on page 188.

tim's

had a small double-double and an old-fashioned plain
with the rec group, sitting indoors at tim's

trying yahoo!

trying yahoo! services this week rather than google...

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

tapped

just heard about a new film--tapped--from the stop dump site 41 folk--that echoes evalyn parrry's word poem bottle this! saw the preview! love it!

Monday, August 03, 2009

sue and uncle dave..

..came to visit today.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

'sister caroline'

--that's the name in the book kathy lent me
--_jesus today: a spirtuality of radical freedom_ (jt)--
why have i waited all these months to meet her, to receive this book?
she talked of theology from the get-go,
which is an unusual topic
--what're the odds?

Friday, July 31, 2009

playing for change

playing for change

still. here.

i. am. still. here.
still. stilted. stilton. stifled.
feeling very spacey
and not quite of this world,
like the real world is just barely out of reach
but we could reach it
if we tried
but we're too scared, too frightened,
to do anything about it --
i'm here to say, it's all right, it's okay.
watch the video

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

harry potter and a sundae

last night
jack, peggy, haleigh and i saw harry potter and the half bood prince
while sarah worked at the marble slab creamery, where we went
afterwards, and i had a hot chocolate fudge sundae.
we met phil, one of the owners.
he spoke of his hometown, winnepeg,
and his search for a franchise

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

my madness is waxing...

...like the moon,
lots ef exposure to strangers
and no answers from friends

blogging

invariably, by the time i get here,
i forget what i was going to blog about.
which begs the question,
what was so impotant anyways?

i am deluged by facebook.
how do people have time
for computer-based social networking?
since their time is finite,
what are they giving up instead?
what cyber-age choices are they making?

Monday, July 27, 2009

my mri

my mri on monday
was ordered by the abi program in hamilton
which is probably why nothing was sent
to the avm clinic.

i have yet to hear the results
of the mri.

catching up

just catching up on the 'net!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

visits with the sues

lunch with sue hannah and julie and day and yes, soph.
mid-afternoon brunch in notl
catching up with sue hirst
followed by a banana split at the
avondale on stewart road
--messy but healing fun food!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

digital calendar

the useful things about this digital calendar are:
  • posterity
  • ease-of-date
  • always online
the labourious things about it are:
  • if you mess up, you mess up big
  • it's easy to get the date wrong
  • i'm not always online

round and round

primer
the shape of a circular path moving through a dimension is a helix.
two helicies side by side is also known as a double helix.
dna, or dioxyribonucleic acid, is a double helix joined by pairs.
the pairs contain information about how to build this particular body.

allegory
although we may seem to be standing still,
we are actually moving as a pair of double helices,
constantly emitting information,
constantly seeking to join others in a
seemingly simpler state.

prince charles asks...

"i wonder is it the case that the problem lies first and foremost not in what we do but in a fracture within us that leads to a limited view of what and where we are in the natural order. and that therefore we need urgently to look deeply into ourselves, and at the way we perceive the world and our relationship with it." http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8141490.stm

Friday, July 24, 2009

the slab and brock

my brother-in-law, jack, took me to the marble slab creamery for a double-chocolate-and-peanuts-in-a-waffle-bowl around 3. then a tour round developments at brock.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

t-o

dr. wallace,
co-director of the avm clinic,
confirmed dr. o'kelly's diagnosias that
not a lot is known about how the brain functions and
why i have cognitive impairment in the mid-brain
and he said the official word from dr. sharpe,
world-renowned ophthamologist--
the official word about my case is
'weird'
they wanna check my shunt
they wanna lookit my mri
they're grasping at straws
and i'm feeing kinda lost in all this...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

look

look.
i wanna tell you what gnaws at the bottom of my heart.
i'm not good enough.
especially now, that i'm afflicted,
changed,
not the same as i was before.
it's not simply a matter that i can't *be* what i did before,
i can't *do* and that bothers me.
i guess what i did was a large part of who i was--
i know the enightened among us stress that being trumps everything
so this is another lesson i've learned--
i'm not as enlightened as i thought i was--
far from it.
at this stage in life i am pretty lazy.
i'm pretty venal, too.
there's stuff i know i should do for myself
but i could hardly care less,
but i'll do it for you.
is that love or is it vanity?
i'm too close to it right now
to give you an honest answer.

lots done

and its only the middle of the week.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

passing the time

i've been here most of the day.
i got outside for a bit before the rains came,
but mostly i've been online looking
for the new torchwood episodes--
without much success.
every once in a while i think of others
and fantasize for a moment how they might be
struggling through the day
and i don't feel so alone...

Monday, July 20, 2009

my blogs

http://redsaucer.blogspot.com/
http://peterladage.blogspot.com/
http://manfromplaid.livejournal.com/
http://ca.geocities.com/anabananapants/

the day

started off with a morning trip
to the st. catharines general for an mri.
i just tried to relax the during the trip
and let the pros do their thing--
i knew my job which nobody else could do.
i wore headphones and listened
with some interest
to easy rock during the procedure.
near the end they filled me with a traceable chemical.
afterwards the nurse brought me a coffee
and we chatted back to the shaver.
after lunch i explored social networking
with uncle malcolm,
and after supper a round, old white man
toured me around a gaming site.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

crazy

i'm definitely crazy living here...
gotta get outta this place
if it's the last thing i ever do...

shaving some more

i shaved before my shower,
it's not a close shave but it'll do.
and i took care not to cut myself.

what day is it?

wasn't sure if it was sunday or monday.
knew i was sleeping in for reason.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

trip to the td

peggy and jack picked me up
so that i could neet justine and open a td account.

pat and sue

i'd been outside for a while,
was warming up between the payphone and the bench
when pat and sue came along.
sue and i talked mostly of her eventual retirement.

noodles and chat

yesterday,
went to the noodle house on geneva near church.
had noodles and a long chat.
resolved to go it alone, for a change.
but i still need to
see the kids while they are growing.
wes may forever be growing.
is that a fault? is that *his* fault?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

dear god

dear god,
i believe
you exist for your own purpose
i exist for your purpose
that's about the limit of my belief in your
ineffability

shaving again

i scraped myself
and cut me too
but it's done, and i did it myself
[hopefully i won't need a nurse for the cut]

fort erie racetrack

the rec group
--melissa, kelly, harold and ruth, pam, judy, susan, and me--
went to the racetrack, today.
i went principally to pass the time.
i'm still uncertain about reality,
but i think the longer i'm here,
the less likely i am to discern what is real.
the question remains,
where to go and
what to do next?
this feels like a solo project
but the kids are aging by the day...
maybe it's too late for me and i just don't know it
maybe it does matter and the answer is staring me in the face
but i choose to ignore it...
i have to find out which,
and find myself,
and find the ultimate reality,
hopefully all in one!
...or, maybe there is no answer
what a conundrum!
can i do it alone, solely? or,
do i need help?
and, if the latter,
and what is she telling me?

wheelchair repair

sherri looked at my chair at 9 am

Monday, July 13, 2009

all morning in bed

i was up all night because of my roommates' restlessness,
so after going to the bathroom in the eary morning
i spent all morning in bed.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

my life is like a poem

my life is like a poem.
the first time, you approach it
like a serial event,
but after that you revisit certain parts
in their entirity

Saturday, July 11, 2009

shaving finale

man, i look horrible,
and isn't the whole behind point shaving
to look good?
so i asked nancy if she'd trim me up,
which she did,
and now i feel good.

shaving redux

i tried shaving again.
what a miserable failure!
i cut myself,
i left a couple of patches behind,
and i lost interest part way through.

lazy day

today was a right lazy day.
so lazy in fact there doesn't seem much to recall.
i didn't do anything or
go anywhere
with anyody.
there's some laundry happening--
oh boy!

Friday, July 10, 2009

shaving... again

it's been about a week since knifedge has touched my face,
and my beard is growing in.
when i look in the mirror
i'm reminded of my hairiness
and i feel i should do something about it.
but what can i do
but lay low?

Thursday, July 09, 2009

red roof inn riding stable

i and the rec group went to the red roof inn riding stable in notl. it was very good to be outdoors.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

t.o. trip to see the ophthamologist

i went to toronto with my sister. we avoided church and politics and she played ladysmith black mombazo most of the way and back. the orthoptical assistant didn't crack a smile until the end, the ophthamology intern missed a crucial piece about my nystagmus, and dr. sharpe informed me that eye surgery would happen a year from now and would only have about a ten percent effect on my ataxia. i'm bummed.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

everything's up in the air

i have a new room,
new roommates who have new and serious problems
--one doesn't know who he is,
one spits up in his sleep,
and one not only needs the commode, he needs the lift!--
am i so far gone that i'm in with this lot?
no! i'm trying to elevate my doings
to a new level!
for example,
i folded my clothes
after doing the laundry--
but even that is problematic in that
i don't have the drawerspace i once had.
why is it that
as i get closer to reality
things get harder?

pastor kitson

what, with jim kitson leaving and all, do you think? (i read an old post from april '06)

moved again

i got moved again,
to room 102
with ernie, doug, and carlo as my roommates.
all septagenarians, or older.

tickles my fancy

i'm goin' where the sun keeps shinin'
through the pourin' rain;
skippin' over the ocean
like a stone
--harry nilsson
http://design-milk.com/

Sunday, July 05, 2009

shaving 3

i took last night's band-aid off this morning and haven't bothered with my ear since. i hope it stays that way.

pay no attention to the posted time...

...it's really 1:05 p.m.

laundry

just doing the laundy, as constant and mundane as brushing one's teeth. speaking of which....

sunday visits

  • i try to sleep in but i'm up really early. i can't take it and go back to bed after breakfast
  • sue - i'm up too late for church, so we go to tim's and commune under the gazebo. afterwards, i feel guilty for her driving all this way, and for secular events. but we have a commitment for next time.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

shaving 2

but it does matter, after all.
i cut myself badly enough
that i needed the attention of a nurse
and now i'm wondering if,
like a premature fall,
i'm ready for prime-time

mariposa

this is mariposa weekend.
it feels weird not to be involved.

shaving

i like the look of me clean-shaven,
but i'm no longer good at shaving. today,
i've cut myself on the right earlobe.
i've learned with shaving
and with handwashing
that it does't really matter.
i hope.

Friday, July 03, 2009

goals

i've been thinking of
re-setting my goals for some time,
making them more achievable.
who knows what tomorrow may bring?
joanna came by today
and we talked about more immediate goals.
to prove my point,
i fell this evening
doing bar exercises--
i didn't hit my head and
i got up right away.
i have a tentative release date....
i guess i'll shoot for that and
lay low for a while

Thursday, July 02, 2009

antivivisectionism

the brain that changes itself is a good read, except it treads on my antivivisectionist ethics.

while the portrayal of the two peta activists as loners and lovers may have some merit, doidge gives no balance to it.

he calmly writes of sewing up monkeys' fingers and kittens' eyelids, then 'sacrificing' them and doing autopsies to see what changes have been wrought in the brain.

i'm perplexed what to do with the knowledge gained in this reading.

in the larger scale, i'm perplexed what to do with compromised knowledge in general. is all human knowledge compromised?

maybe i should fergetaboutit.
maybe i should keep it close and personal.
maybe i should be firm and stand for what i believe in.
maybe i should join the 21st century and disavow peta.
as i said, i'll sleep on it.

Monday, June 29, 2009

predictions of events yet to come

i read
in the brain that changes itself
how the writing of
one person affects an other in a
future space and time.
how can one possibly predict
with any accuracy
from our low vantage point
the future?

sign

"NO ISOLATION
PATIENTS IN
DINING ROOM OR
ON COMPUTERS."
sign on computer box, almost totally ignored by me.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

my saturday

i've had a quiet day outside
and reading lamb by christopher moore.
pushed myself hard
in the self-grooming dept.:
teeth and shaving.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

ruth over richard?

although conventional wisdom may hold that
richard is stranger than ruth
for blogging i find
ruth is strange enough

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

story 1 part 3

I thought about God all the while we swam back. I rested on the deck, which my grandfather had built, decades before, when I was a little boy. My grandfather died not long after that. I am sure he did a lot of living between the deck-building and his death, but I do not know about this time, so the deck-building is firmly connected to his death in my view. I rested and Glen brought me my guitar. I wrote a song about diving into the water and racing the bubbles to the surface, like being charged with the inevitability of God in your life. It is a good song, but I have not performed it yet.

Glen brought me the guitar as he tidied the tiny livingroom; he did not know where the case was, so it was easier to bring the guitar to me. The livingroom needed cleaning because we had been living in it for the past day-and-a-half while it rained. I was going to join him, but first I needed to get this song out of my head and down onto paper. Glen knew that without me saying a word; someday he would make a good partner, but for now he was stuck with me, and I with him. Glen is moody, and it does him good to have his own space, whether it is his room or the miniscule cottage livingroom

Monday, June 22, 2009

story 1 part 2

We rested in the middle against the slimy rocks, and as always our conversation turns to God.

"What if God didn't mean to enter the historical record until Jesus was crucified?" I asked. As conquerers, the Romans kept records of everybody they killed; it was one way of getting your family geneology done for free.

"Then God doesn't reveal himself to everyody."

"That doesn't make sense. God must be known to everybody just the same."

"Why?" wondered Glen, for the first, but not the last time. Then he fell to his usual line of inquiry: "There must be another way."

"Come on," I said. We had about half mile to go to the diving cliffs still.

I break clear of the surface and take a huge breath in. I look up at Glen. far above me. When you jump, I tell him silently, make sure you jump out as much as you jump down. There may be rocks near the cliff just under the surface of the water.

Glen jumps. He picks up the conversation from the rocks as if an hour hasn't elapsed.

"The trouble with you is you want evolution and revelation."

"Yeah, so?" So was my challenging point.

"They don't go together, evolution and revelation."

"Says who?"

"Says a lot of people."

I reach the base of the cliffs and scramble up the right. "The Bible doesn't say so," I counter, going up a mere fifteen feet before turning to jump. Glen scrambles after me.

"The Bible doesn't support evolution."

I jump. A few seconds later, Glen is next to me, bubbling and laughing.

"It doesn't disprove it, neither." It's my story, damnit, and I'll tell it the way I want it.

"So then, it comes down to a matter of interpretation. Which, I suppose, is a matter of faith," he said, dejectedly, though it was hard to tell while swimming. He knew where faith led to in our friendship. But I propose a different topic, just to keep him off-balance.

"Maybe Jesus shows up in different places to different people at different times. He is God, you know."

"But he shows up in a specific place with a specific purpose at a specific time."

I swim over.

"Yes, in our version of the story. Come on. Even if you don't believe in evolution you gotta admit there were others living in far reaches of the globe at the time."

"Like the Amerindians?" he offers weakly.

"Yeah, where are they in the Bible?"

I continue.

"See? The Bible is too narrow to be the inerrant word of God. That's a lie made up by a bunch of priests with a vested interest in maintaining the status quo."

This time he reaches the cliff-face first and scrambles up. He jumps from very far up, and sails over my head.

"I don't know," he calls out. He hits the water, arms already flailing. He breaks the surface and adds,

"You've got to give the Bible more scope."

Sunday, June 21, 2009

story 1 part 1

I jumped from the cliff to the shimmering water forty feet below with glee and wild abandon. I jumped not ever having jumped so high. Down into the water I went, legs and arms akimbo to slow me, to make sure I get to the surface, which is now all I want to do.

My friend Glen jumps from nearly half the height, maybe twenty-five feet up. He's done this before. He has nothing to prove, to himself or to me. We have swum half the length of the lake to get to the diving cliffs. It is shallow in the middle where the rocks rise from the murky bottom to give rest to the gulls and ducks and other birds of the air.

visit with nancy & millie

the visit with nancy & millie
was pleasant and boring.
what else can i expect?
millie is 91 and nancy must be about 63--
am i looking at karen in the future?
except that nancy is not karen,
just as i am not don or craig.

horizontal and reality

while still horizontal
i seem to have a firmer grip on unreality.
so the mornings are good,
before i rise,
and the evenings too.
in between are the hard times
and then the horizontal times seem too simple.
but in the cool of the day,
the rest of the day seems too complicated.
which is real?
how can i, from the inside, tell?
when the tv starts messing with archie,
is it the real archie-show,
or is it a version just for my ears?
[later...]
it's 8.30 in the evening on sunday night now,
and i type first off to stave off boredom,
complication, complicity, and other word play.
i type to avoid the awful tuth that i'm alone
('no you're not!' calls the god from the corner).
i type to pass the time.
i type because it's the most creative thing i can do right now.
i want to create because i've been all input these
many months,
and some output wells within.
i want to create because i'm reading a wild novel,
lamb,
and i want to respond in kind.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

i blogged but (off-roading at the strawberry social) ...

i blogged, but something happened and i lost it all
so i'll start again, but it won't have the same flavour.
i wrote something about
how i had difficulty getting ready to go,
how i left my shirt and shoes for when julie arrived
but imagine my surprise when sue dropped in,
and julie stayed in the hall while
sophie stayed in bed (where she remains).
[backstory: sue is julie's mother,
sophie is the dog;
sophie is 8 or 9,
julie is in her early 30s,
and sue in her mid 50s.]
sue and i got on a clean long-sleeve shirt
and my doc martens for going out in the rain
and away we went
to notl via st. david's
where we stopped at st. andrew's cemetery
for the strawberry social.
i went 'off-roading' across the lawn
and had a strawberry crepe while
julie and sue had shortcakes
and we stopped at the tim's at
glendale and the north service road for
coffees and a tea (for julie)
and a pee for me, ahhh... that feels better...
back to the shaver, to my room and laundry,
and to this blog...

Friday, June 19, 2009

i could be here forever

(a ramble)
i feel like i should blog forever,
that the moment i stop i'll never start again...
i guess this comes from feelings of paranoia, from
having been outside for so long
that i reached my inner feelings
but i've got selfish concerns, like
i hope i don't make a mess tomorrow.
i should say
my thoughts are with my kids, too
what are they doing? how are they doing?
i might be here for the rest of my life,
my right temple, my left collarbone,
my left lip, and my breadbasket remind me
that it's really real.
what am i to do?
adjust,
settle in for the long haul....
do something different and daring than
what i've done for the past
eleven months
like what?
and what about the annoying constants
like fingernails and toenails and beard
keep growing and teeth need brushing
--what about flossing?--
but above it all the mind needs entertaining.
the beauty of the internet is
(as i've blogged elsewhere) is that it's
ubiquitous
and somebody has quipped,
nobody knows you're a dog
to which i might add,
nobody needs to know you're a crustacean
no one needs to know you're mad.
if stephen hawking writes whole books
one synthetic letter at a time
why can't i maintain a simple blog?
what does it mean, to settle in for the long haul?
to build relations with people that depend on technology,
on transport or telephony or the internet?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

the heroic ultimate last move

i had a long session with bonnie followed by a short session walking,
and the walking seems mad--
if it isn't, why am i doing it?
so, a way out of this madness is to face the walking--
or, if there is no way out, to go with it, all the way...
to the end, to the last step,
to the heroic ultimate last move

i'm desperate, but am i that desperate?

i'm thinking about getting out of here,
desperately so, that it might appear to karen,
and might be my reality,
that i'm transferring my affection to karen to get out of here.
we've been down this path before, with corinne.

the difference for me apart from whether i love karen,
is that our kids are involved
--and chloe has four years of high school,
and wes--well, who knows?

this may be wes' pupose in my life,
that karen and i are never fully separated.

now, do i still love karen?
can i see us ten, twenty, thirty, even forty years hence?
can i see us together where i might otherwise fall apart?

laughing at life

i feel like i'm overdue for a daily retch
i feel angry with these old biddies behind me--
how dare they laugh at life?
living is serious stuff!
but how serious should we approach it
given how ignorant we are?
or should we always be serious despite our ignorance?
or do they feel they can now sit back and laugh,
having lived to the fullest on the inside,
the neverending collective mythos?
is this where i'm at, in the merry month of june (oh-nine):
wondering if everything should be serious,
or filled with paradox, humor, and change?

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

evening ramble (undecided)

i spend much of the day undecided,
or decided only for the convenience of being decided,
but really, if pressed, not decided--
undecided whether this is real or not--
right now, if pressed, if really pressed, i'd say it's a bit of both
real for the things around me, but unreal in my responses to them

rebirth story (i figger)

i figger
i'll save my longer posts under the pseudonym of red saucer
i figger
they'll start without map or compass or heading and find
root along the route
i figger
they'll find their way home
i figger
i was born to create, to take the word offered to me and mould it while it was mine

Sunday, January 28, 2007

taking a break

i'm taking a break from posting as manfromplaid on lj and as redsaucer on blogger. for a while, i'll post as my alter ego, mild-mannered peterladage.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

double whammies

it's hard reading through the prophets of the old testament and repeatedly watching an inconvenient truth (AIT). lots of doom and gloom. even the director and producers of AIT admit that the film doesn't have enough room at the end for the good news, the good spiel; hence, the marvelous credits.

there's bits of good news in the prophets, and in AIT, but i'm anxious for the real good news. because i'm reading the bible from genesis forwards, i'm not too far away from the gospels, and on the internet there's much good news about what we are doing and can do. and i'm hungry for that too.

aren't we all?

here's some good news: Sustainability within a Generation: A new vision for Canada

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

five minutes to midnight: the doomsday clock moves two minutes closer

"The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists’ Doomsday Clock conveys how close humanity is to catastrophic destruction--the figurative midnight--and monitors the means humankind could use to obliterate itself. First and foremost, these include nuclear weapons, but they also encompass climate-changing technologies and new developments in the life sciences and nanotechnology that could inflict irrevocable harm." ... More...

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Climate Change Denial: "Wacky Weather" is Deadly Global Heating (lj xpost)

birdwoman sent me this blog-link on Climate Change Denial: "Wacky Weather" is Deadly Global Heating. as she said, it's long and depressing, but there's hope at the end. kind of like reading Jeremiah.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

two poems

THE JOURNEY

the walk

the hill

up

down

the morning

light

heat

the path

the paths

the choice

the others

the source

the beginning is the end and the end is the beginning

the centre is the edge and the edge is the centre

the door of fear

the path of love




DESPAIR
are these the dying days?
are these the days we receive
the shards of our broken covenant?
are these the days of false prophets and false platitudes?
false counselors and false comforts?
are these the days when we do the wrong thing
and do it earnestly?
or the right thing doubtfully?
dear lord
i don't mean to abandon you
show me the way to a greater heart
to love you
and all of your creation
may the fear in me
be the source of true wisdom
and guide me in the path of righteousness
for your name's sake
and may others come to know
your peace and love
(of which i am a poor reflection)
and may all be healed
in perfect community with you

"we're in this together"

Celebration Speech at the Resurgence 40th Anniversary event by Annie Lennox

If we view the world as an interdependent global village, then we avoid taking action at our own peril.

WE LIVE IN complicated times. We seek, but we don’t necessarily find, the ultimate things we long to experience – contentment, joy, love, inner peace. Our lives are too often overloaded with demands: that we should be successful, rich, beautiful and famous; but this just adds to our inner stress and turmoil. The media constantly bombard us with images reminding us of our ‘lack’ … and we so often feel like failures.

read more...

Monday, January 01, 2007

simplicity

in eleven days i take possession of a little house. my resolution for 2007 is:

simplify the unecessay and make room for the necessary

**********************

packed away in my treasure box is a little journal bound in red cordurouy. in it i recorded on that day 25 years ago that i read thoreau for the first time. here's a taste of what i read:

"Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind. With respect to luxuries and comforts, the wisest have even lived a more simple and meagre life than the poor."

"We are happy in proportion to the things we can do without."

"Our life is frittered away by detail... Simplify, simplify, simplify! ... Simplicity of life and elevation of purpose."

more quotes on simplicity


*************************

"Simple Gifts" was written by Elder Joseph while he was at the Shaker community in Alfred, Maine in 1848. These are the lyrics to his one verse song:
'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain'd,
To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come round right.

[source:wikipedia]

Monday, December 25, 2006

we are members of christ's risen body

"The members of Christ's Risen Body are not simply each individual person who follows Christ's call, but also the various churches that make up the Church Universal. As each person has his or her own way of being in the world, so, too, does each church.... God calls each of us, each person, and each congregation, by name. Each of us, all of us together, is a part of the Resurrection Body, and we all need one another so that, together, we can be Christ to the world. When I remember that, I do not need to know what will happen to my body, or to my ego, after I die. As a member of this community, I am part of something much bigger than this congregation is alone. As one who follows Christ's call on my life, I do not have to wait until I die to be part of the Resurrection, because I already participate in the spiritual body of the Word of God made flesh. As those who live out God's calling in this church, let us remain aware that this fragile, earthen vessel is only one small part of the Risen Body of the one those first Christians knew as Jesus, the one we know as Christ."
from a sermon for Seekers Church, February 18, 2001, by Deborah Sokolove

the land mourns

In Hosea 4:1-3 the prophet declares: “There is no faithfulness or loyalty, and no knowledge of God in the land. Swearing, lying, and murder, and stealing and adultery break out; bloodshed follows bloodshed. Therefore the land mourns, and all who live in it languish; together with the wild animals and the birds of the air, even the fish of the sea are perishing.”


"Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish caught, will we realise that we cannot eat money."
North American Cree Indian

Monday, November 20, 2006

kim phuc


cady and i went to my sister's church sunday morning, and the guest speaker was kim phuc. for over half an hour she spoke quietly yet passionately about her life. i cried at times. hers is a most harrowing story: physical pain from the burns which she still endures today; emotional pain from a family that at first loved her, but after she became a christian turned their backs on her; political pain from being used by the vietnamese government to speak about war; and spiritual pain of being isolated from a christian community for many years while in communist vietnam and later in cuba.

this story has a happy ending: she fell in love and married, and while on her honeymoon, defected to canada where she lives in ajax; she has reconciled with her family and they all live in canada now; she has met with and forgiven the american who ordered the napalm attck on her village; she is a UNESCO Goodwill Ambassador and travels the world as a peace activist; and she has two boys, Stephen and Thomas.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

inheritance

could we apply this proverb to stewardship of the earth?

"Good people leave an inheritance for their children's children"

Proverbs 13:22a

Monday, November 13, 2006

beauty, truth. truth, beauty

god is amazing.

i had the privilege of an hour's conversation last night with someone who believes that
  • being,
  • purpose,
  • beauty,
  • justice, and
  • unity
are real and essential to human growth, and, as a statistician, is researching them, and, as a music therapist, observes these in action everyday.

during my lunch break, i ran into him, and he's re-considering beauty in the light of love and redemption. mathematically, mind you!

don't be overwhelmed

some days i feel i'm not doing enough, that i'm not committed wholly/holy to serving god in all that i do. like my namesake, simon peter who simply dropped his nets and followed jesus, i am at times impetuous. i wanna do it all, and do it now. i know the icecaps are melting, i know people are suffering, i know i could do more if i weren't writing software much of my day. jesus counsels:

"This is a large work I've called you into, but don't be overwhelmed by it. It's best to start small. Give a cool cup of water to someone who is thirsty, for instance. The smallest act of giving or receiving makes you a true apprentice. You won't lose out on a thing."

The Message, Matthew 10:42

in context of the whole chapter, Matthew 10

Friday, November 10, 2006

personal update

the world is always changing, but there's a feeling we're on the cusp of even greater change, eh?

and, like many of my friends (i am discovering), i feel personally on the cusp of great personal change. the two changes - global and personal -- are tied together, and cultural consciousness is raising, ahead of the floodwaters.

how do i be the change i want to see in the world?

or better: what am i, truly, in the service of god and god's creation?

that's my challenge.

very important: New Strategies to Confront Climate Change by Andrew Heintzman


this 4-page essay gives 4 realistic and achievable strategies for solving the climate crisis.

it's the most encouraging news i've read in a long time.

New Strategies to Confront Climate Change by Andrew Heintzman (Note: this is a PDF)

Thursday, November 09, 2006

New Sustainable Seafood Campaign Launched



Some of Canada’s top chefs and leading marine scientists joined the David Suzuki Foundation, Living Oceans Society, Canadian Parks and Wilderness Committee, Sierra Club of Canada (BC Chapter) and Ecology Action Network in Halifax to launch a new sustainable seafood campaign, called SeaChoice, a comprehensive, made-in-Canada program that ranks the sustainability of various types of seafood. Most importantly, SeaChoice provides the science-based information and aims to better inform Canadian consumers, fishermen, chefs and businesses so they can make informed sustainable seafood choices and help keep oceans healthy.

From www.seachoice.org:

"The movement towards sustainable seafood is about solutions for our oceans. Choosing sustainable seafood is a simple and effective action that you can take every time you eat at a restaurant or buy seafood. Whether you are an individual shopping for your family, a chef buying for your restaurant, or a supplier sourcing from fishing communities, your choices count. Voting with your wallet sends a strong signal to government and industry leaders, telling them that you support responsible stewardship of our natural marine resources.

"We understand that choosing sustainable seafood can be challenging, that’s why SeaChoice has created easy-to-use products that help you identify the best seafood choices and find information about the fisheries that you support with your purchasing. This is the first time that information has been compiled for Canadians about our domestic fisheries and the seafood we import. Please take a look at Canada’s Seafood Guide and our searchable seafood database at right.

"The ultimate solutions will require all of us--governments, industry, retailers and individuals--to take responsibility for changing our approach to seafood and fishing. We hope you will choose to be part of the solution."

So, what's for dinner tonight?

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

qana

Patti Smith has recorded a new song: "Qana":
[band version] [solo version]

There's no one
in the village
not a human
nor a stone
there's no one
in the village
children are gone
and a mother rocks
herself to sleep
let it come down
let her weep

the dead lay in strange shapes

Some stay buried
others crawl free
baby didn't make it
screaming debris
and a mother rocks
herself to sleep
let it come down
let her weep

the dead lay in strange shapes

Limp little dolls
caked in mud
small, small hands
found in the road
their talking about
war aims
what a phrase
bombs that fall
American made
the new Middle East
the Rice woman squeaks

the dead lay in strange shapes

little bodies
little bodies
tied head and feet
wrapped in plastic
laid out in the street
the new Middle East
the Rice woman squeaks

the dead lay in strange shapes

Water to wine
wine to blood
ahh Qana
the miracle
is love

patti smith



qana

QANA

The Israeli practice of collective punishment is a war crime under the Geneva Convention. Why are they allowed to do this? Because they have our permission?

We send over four billion dollars in aid and weapons to Israel every year. We are paying for this devastation. The slaughter of children. The country in ruins.We are paying for this. George Bush willfully rejected a truce and now we have the Qana massacre on our head. Thirty seven of the dead were children.

Qana is considered by some as the location of the first miracle of Christ. Turning water into wine. There is no wine flowing in Qana today. Only blood. Only blood.

patti smith

voluntary simplicity

"Voluntary simplicity is easier to promote when it is clear that it offers abundant opportunities for growth. Life-based pursuits, or the '3 L's' -- Learning, Love and Laughter -- as they are referred to for our sound bite world, offer boundless frontiers. The development of skills, scholarship, art, music, sport, dance, friendship, spiritual aspiration, parenting and service were the essence of human culture before the commercial era pressed acquisition to its current place of prominence. The saturation of landfill space, problems with pollution and painful experiences with finite natural resources bid us re-consider the emphasis we place on the pursuit of our human birthright.

from "Life-Based Purpose: A Key to Sustainability" by Howard Jerome

frugal living

"Everyone has the right to decide how they want to live and spend their money according to their own values, but those who want to practice the art of gentle living will consider others in addition to one's own happiness. Some may find that they prefer to have more time for pursuing transpersonal values or social reform rather than working long hours for more pay or indulging in personal pleasures. By living frugally one may have everything one needs without high costs so that one has time, energy, and other resources for higher ideals. The limited resources of the world have to be shared, and some believe that by living simply they can help others to simply live. Giving to charity to help the less fortunate is one way to do this, but one can also give of one's time, talents, and energy to work for the betterment of all humanity. Jesus presented this challenge when he advised a rich man to sell all his possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow him. If the very poor are assisted in intelligent ways, the improvements made in their lives from the sharing of the resources can be quite efficient. Even the smallest contribution helps when it is given to those most in need.

"We each make decisions every day about what resources we use and how. Those who voluntarily simplify their lifestyles by reducing their use of polluting methods of transportation or the purchasing of extra material things they do not need are consciously producing less waste, which eventually needs to be cleaned up. Many people are finding that they can work at home, or one may live closer to one's place of employment and avoid spending time, money, and energy in long commutes. As the fossil fuel supplies diminish, the costs of transportation will increase. Urban areas are becoming more crowded and polluted. Those who walk and bicycle are saving these energies and the environment. Using public transportation or car-pooling helps. By spending time with one's family and friends at home and by associating with neighbors and local groups, people help ease the traffic and pollution problems while having more time for their activities. In today's global society we can communicate instantaneously with people anywhere in the world by the Internet and satellite at low cost in money and energy.

"By choosing to live with others in community, housing can be shared more so that it is not so expensive. The opposite extreme is the very rich who own several homes and travel around. I wonder if any of those places really feels like a home, and how inconvenient it must be not having everything you need and want in the same place! Such luxuries are obviously inefficient and wasteful of many resources. Recycling of resources is very important in order to conserve energy and materials. If those with extra clothes donate more of them to the second-hand stores, those with less income will have even better choices in the thrift stores. If people purchase appliances and other products for their durability and efficiency and have them repaired instead of buying new ones, then even what needs to be recycled will be reduced. Some are "returning to the land" to grow their own food and form communities that are more self-sufficient. Fresh fruit and vegetables are the healthiest food and do not require wasteful packaging. We can buy fresh produce that comes from local growers and so reduce transportation costs. Even the scraps can be composted to fertilize a garden. Try to avoid discarding disposable containers by using canvas or cloth bags for shopping and by washing dishes. First, re-use what you can; second, re-cycle materials; and third, reduce needless consumption so that you throw away as little as possible. Remember we are all on this Earth, and there is ultimately no "away" for throwing things.

"We can also keep our minds clear of much useless information by avoiding commercials and advertising that are intended to manipulate people into buying things. One can tune in on non-commercial media such as Pacifica radio, C-SPAN television, public radio or television, local access stations, or other non-commercial cable stations. Remote controls make it easier to mute the sound of any advertisement, or one can change channels. The world wide web can be used to find much information without having to buy newspapers and magazines that are loaded with ads and waste paper. Avoid websites that throw ads at you and find those that are user-friendly. Most books can be purchased used, and especially classics and other popular books are easily available in inexpensive editions. Public libraries provide outstanding books and other resources for free. Today people have easier access to the finest literature and educational materials than at any time in history. Especially because of the Internet, knowledge is spreading quickly and becoming more accessible every day. Soon one will be able to find just about any book or film or music or art on-line. Our opportunities for learning, communicating, creating, and participating in social reforms are greater than ever if we can learn how to manage our time by living more simply with the physical things.

Sanderson Beck

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

is god green?

god is amazing.

i missed seeing elizaberth may, leader of the national green party, speak in orillia tonight. but she was on tvo's The Agenda and you can watch this video clip of "Elizabeth May | Climate Change Conundrum" . may's environmentalism is scripture-based (she once considered becoming an anglican priest).

however, i did watch "Is God Green?" on Moyers on America on pbs. amazingly, the evangelical christian right in america, which helped put reagan and george w. bush in the oval office, is now finding a biblical basis for environmentalism and is beginning to vociferously oppose corporations harming the environment and politicians weakening environmental protection, while making concerted efforts to recycle and reduce and re-use in their communities, and plant more trees!.

you can/should/must watch the whole show online: "Is God Green?"

p.s.
it's kind of cool to watch a church service in boise idaho with a praise team and congregation and setting that looks kind of like my sister's church in niagara, ontario, singing songs sung there, and here at our church here in midland, ontario.

for the record, i'm one of those tree-hugging lefties that has come to christ, just as the evangelicals in this documentary are those bible-thumping christians that have come to care for god's creation. our politics still differ in many ways, but we have common ground in jesus, and god's word, and love for the creator and the creator's creation, and the purpose of that creation, which is to be a community to worship god in all our voices: human, lark, pine needle, fire, thunder, falling petal, the whole merry dance of neutrinos and gracefullness of gravity.

more amazingly, it was a secular friend who said to me, 'i don't know why. i never look at the pbs guide, but tonight i did, and i saw this show listed and thought you might like to watch it.' we watched it together.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

thin spaces and a great lake of beer for the king of kings


another sunday at st. george's, my mother's church. thanksgiving sunday with a celtic communion. the sermon was given by rt. revd. bishop asbil (retired), former rector of st. george's and now bishop-in-residence. i went to high school with his sons, one of whom is now a priest.

bishop asbil spoke of the celtic christian sensibility. i remarked two aspects of the christian celt:
  1. thin spaces where this world and the next are not so far apart
  2. a commission to heal this planet
i found three prayers by famous celtic saints:

I arise today,
Through the strength of heaven:
Light of the sun, radiance of the moon.
Splendor of fire, speed of lightning,
Swiftness of wind, depth of sea,
Stability of earth and firmness of rock.
I arise today,
Through God's strength to pilot me:
God's might to uphold me, God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me, God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me, God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me, God's shield to protect me.
From the snares of devils, from temptation of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
Afar and near, alone and in a multitude
St. Patrick



My Druid is Christ, the son of God,
Christ, Son of Mary, the Great Abbot,
The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.
St. Columba


I would like to have the men of Heaven in my own house:
With vats of good cheer laid out for them.
I would like to have the three Marys, their fame is so great.
I would like people from every corner of Heaven.
I would like them to be cheerful in their drinking,
I would like to have Jesus too here amongst them.
I would like a great lake of beer for the King of Kings,
I would like to be watching Heaven's family, drinking it through all eternity.
attributed to St. Brigid

source: http://english.glendale.cc.ca.us/christ.html

Monday, October 02, 2006

St. Francis of Assisi: Fratello sole, sorella luna

tomorrow marks the anniversary of the death of this most beloved saint, and wednesday is his feast day.

he is the patron saint of of animals, merchants, Italy, Catholic action, and the environment. how's that for a mixed bag?

his poem, "the canticle of the creatures," was the first poem written in italian

Most High, all-powerful, all-good Lord,
All praise is Yours, all glory, honor and blessings.
To you alone, Most High, do they belong;
no mortal lips are worthy to pronounce Your Name.

We praise You, Lord, for all Your creatures,
especially for Brother Sun,
who is the day through whom You give us light.
And he is beautiful and radiant with great splendor,
of You Most High, he bears your likeness.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Moon and the stars,
in the heavens you have made them bright, precious and fair.

We praise You, Lord, for Brothers Wind and Air,
fair and stormy, all weather's moods,
by which You cherish all that You have made.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Water,
so useful, humble, precious and pure.

We praise You, Lord, for Brother Fire,
through whom You light the night.
He is beautiful, playful, robust, and strong.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Earth,
who sustains us
with her fruits, colored flowers, and herbs.

We praise You, Lord, for those who pardon,
for love of You bear sickness and trial.
Blessed are those who endure in peace,
by You Most High, they will be crowned.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Death,
from whom no-one living can escape.
Woe to those who die in their sins!
Blessed are those that She finds doing Your Will.
No second death can do them harm.

We praise and bless You, Lord, and give You thanks,
and serve You in all humility.

(Text is in the Public Domain. Source: http://prayerfoundation.org/canticle_of_brother_sun.htm)

two bios:
http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/06221a.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_of_Assisi


two reviews of one my favourite movies, Brother Sun, Sister Moon:
http://www.popmatters.com/film/reviews/b/brother-sun-sister-moon.shtml
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069824/